You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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