all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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