that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Randomize
