if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
