i just identified you from a description of your pipe
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
