well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
