Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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