Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Randomize
