3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
