I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
