I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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