worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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