all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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