So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
