Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
