so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
