I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
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