So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
