super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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