She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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