they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
