It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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