we have pet lesbian snakes
Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
