i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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