you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
