party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
