Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
