Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
