There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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