tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
