We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
