what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
