possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
