Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Michael Bay diarrhea
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
