i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize