i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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