I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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