I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
