You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
