I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
