your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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