my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was confusing and full of hummus
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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