I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
