She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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