the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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