whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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