hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
