Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
