I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
