Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
