Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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