"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
