O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
