i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
