Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Randomize
