its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Blood and glitter go together right?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Randomize
